Thanks for sharing this story about you and your mother.

Speaking from personal experience, there can be so much dysfunction in families and it can be hard to communicate with family members, whether they are alive, or dead.

And carrying guilt somehow manifests because of this difficulty to communicate, or the ability to "feel anything" for that person.

This story is sad and from-the-heart-honest, vulnerable and well-written. The dead flowers truly speak truth and resonate with your story.